Funniest Excuses for Missing Work

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If you’ve never heard an outrageous excuse for missing work, you haven’t been a manager for very long. But here are a few from CareerBuilder that just might top the charts:

  • “My sobriety tool wouldn’t allow the car to start”
  • “I forgot I was hired for the job”
  • “My dog is having a nervous breakdown”
  • “My grandmother’s body is being exhumed for a police investigation”
  • “My toe is stuck in the faucet”
  • “I’m too upset after watching The Hunger Games
  • “I’ve gotten sick from reading too much”
  • “My hair turned orange after I dyed it at home”

Funny excuses – but serious issues for an employer. CareerBuilder notes that three out of 10 workers call in sick when they’re not actually ill – and three out of 10 employers say they’ve checked up on a staffer to make sure an absence is legitimate, usually by requiring a doctor’s note or calling the employee at home later that day. As your company grows, you’re going to need written policies and procedures, and you’re going to want to document problems with employees and the ways you’ve tried to help them.

Adapted from Ten Bizarre Excuses for Calling in Sick by Dennis McCafferty at