Fall Freebies! Free Donuts, Free Ice Cream, Free Coffee

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Glazed donut

In September, the stars align for consumers seeking sweet treats without having to open up their wallets.

The September free-for-all starts on Wednesday the 19th. As everyone knows—or wait, actually not that many people know—September 19 is always International Talk Like a Pirate Day. You’d think that the big day for spouting out lines like “Ahoy Matey” and “Yo Ho Ho!” might be accompanied by giveaways of toy parrots, eye patches, and perhaps fake wooden legs. Instead, this year, we get something much better: free donuts.

Throughout the day, Krispy Kreme is giving away one free original glazed donut to each customer who talks like a pirate. (Warning: Be careful about who you might be addressing as a “Ho Ho.”) Those who really get in the spirit of things get a bonus: Wear a full pirate costume, and you’re entitled to a “bounty” of a dozen free original glazed donuts.

Who knew pirates were so into donuts?

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Next up on the freebie radar is free ice cream from Carvel. Thursday, September 20, is Customer Appreciation Day at the ice cream chain, and from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. all customers receive a free 4 oz. soft-serve “Jr.” cone dipped in Bonnet—including a choice of new flavors caramel, cotton candy, peanut butter, and cake mix.

Finally, at the end of the month, it’s back to Krispy Kreme for another giveaway. In honor of National Coffee Day on September 29, Krispy Kreme locations are offering one free 12 oz. coffee per customer throughout the day.

You don’t have to wait that long to snag a free coffee, however. Participating McDonald’s locations are celebrating National Coffee Day by giving away one free small coffee per customer daily for an entire week, from September 23 to 29.

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It sure would be nice if a couple of these freebies were paired together: Imagine a free coffee and a free donut on the same day! That’s being greedy, I suppose—as greedy as a pirate keeping all of the plundered gold for himself.

Brad Tuttle is a reporter at TIME. Find him on Twitter at @bradrtuttle. You can also continue the discussion on TIME’s Facebook page and on Twitter at @TIME.