Or that you don’t even have a cell phone? Then you’re a prime sucker for Best Buy’s “Phone Shame Elimination” promotion. You also ought to be ashamed that you give a damn about what other people think.
The promotion from Best Buy allows users to search for upgrades, and even lets you shame someone else—by sending them a “shametone,” which is a goofy song telling them how lame their phone is. Shametones can be sent in your choice of music genre: ballad, country, hip-hop, reggae, or metal. See here:
Then, after sending one to a friend, you should be doubly ashamed that you not only care what other people think about your tech purchases, but that you care about the possessions of other people enough for you to serve as a pawn for Best Buy.