Style tips from the Guido, errr Garden State: Amazingly, it doesn’t cost a fortune to look like the stars of MTV’s new “reality” show Snookie, JWOWW, and the Situation.
New Jersey Shopping columnist Lauren Bright offers tips for would-be Guidettes:
In a nutshell, you want to look buxom and bronzed. More specifically, you want to look like you’ve inflated your mammaries with a tire pump and swum in iodine.
And for aspiring Guidos as well:
As for male grooming, a hairless body is the best way to showcase the money you’ve spent on amino acids and steroids. If laser is too pricey, consider depilatory lotions ($3.40) – just make sure they don’t react negatively with your self-tanning cream or body spray. Avoid full body shaving at all costs- ingrown hairs could be mistaken for various STDs or even worse- BACNE-which could compromise your scoring success. To save money on styling aids try utilizing a simple shortening like Crisco as hair cream.
Warning: The ‘Jersey Shore’ look has been known to get subscribers to the style punched in the face.