Let’s have a rename-the-TARP contest!

You’ve surely already heard the news that Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner is going to announce a new and, one hopes, improved bank bailout plan Tuesday. There will probably be lots of stuff in it about a “bad bank,” toxic-asset purchases, cash injections, new FDIC powers and the like. But here’s the really important part (from the WSJ):

To improve the bailout’s poor image, which owes partly to the shifting nature of the government’s remedies, the administration is considering renaming the $700 billion Troubled Asset Relief Program and making it independent of the Treasury.

I’ve already endorsed money manager Bob Andres’s proposal to change TARP’s name to BARF (for Bank Assistance Relief Fund). But somehow I don’t think that’s what Treasury’s looking for. They need something positive.

Hmmm. How about SNAZZY (Stimulating New Acquisitions of Zambonis and Zithers. Yay!)? No, that’s more stimulus plan than a bank rescue. Or maybe GRRREAT (Government Repurchase, Repurposing, Regurgitation or Elimination of Assets in Trouble)? Naaah. Too digestive, and thus reminiscent of BARF.

Anyway, I’m sure you all can do much better. So let’s have a rename-the-TARP contest! To the winner, as determined by Barbara and me, goes a prize. What prize? Haven’t figured that out exactly, but it’ll be some sort of swag we find lying around the office. And if we really like the new name we’ll use it to refer to the program in the future on this blog regardless of what Treasury decides to call it. (We of course reserve the right not to give out any prize if all we get is three half-hearted suggestions.)

Update: The commenters at Swampland have been hard at work on this as well. And Treasury appears to have picked another name—the Financial Stability Plan. But that’s boring, so the contest continues.

Related Topics: Wall Street & Markets
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  • Barbara Kiviat

    I’d also like to point out how, if we title the eventual prize-announcing blog post smartly, your idea could become quite well-read thanks to Google’s ranking algorithm. If you search for TALF (remember TALF?), the Curious Capitalist is the fifth hit that pops up. Behind the Fed and Seeking Alpha, but ahead of Forbes, BusinessWeek and NPR.

  • http://phd9.blogspot.com Paul Dirks

    Pouring Increased Grease into the Same Large Open Pit.

  • sneezeguard

    If we want to go positive, I can think of one anagram people might like

    Oversight Bank Asset Management Agency
    OBAMA

  • Justin Fox

    Yes, I definitely think OBAMA carries more positive connotations than PIGSLOP. Except perhaps among pigs.

  • g_crush

    .
    Also negative:
    .
    Bank Liquidity And Commerical Holdings Liability Endowment, or BLAC HOLE
    .
    But, on a lighter note:
    .
    Financial Asset Mitigation – Investment Liquidity Inertia Endowment, or FAM-ILIE…Just to hear the phrase ‘FAMILIE values’ beaten to death by oh-so-clever media types.

  • http://www.simonvinkenoog.nl/beeld/Yogi%20-%20Annelies%20Rigter.jpg yogi

    I think we should combine the housing bill with the new TARP and call it:
    Joint Obligated Housing Nationalization and Government Assistance Lending T-bills
    .
    Mainly in the hopes of people googling “What is John Galt?” and the results come back asking “did you mean ‘Who is John Galt?’”

  • plukasiak

    how about PRAT-FALL
    Program for the Relief of Assets that are Troubled–Federally Acquired Loan Losers!

  • plukasiak

    or Washington Engineered Loan Fix / Asset Relief Entity or WELFARE

  • bryanfromhouston

    Capital Restructure Investment Initiative – CAPRII
    -
    We once had a healthy and functioning PLO – Palestinian Liberation Organization. Since it is defunct, we should resurrect the name for this TARP by another name as well.
    -
    Something like an ALO – Asset Liberation Organization. It will also soon be defunct so the name is fitting. :-)
    -
    Can’t we just nationalize already?

  • johnshreffler

    Troubled Asset Recovery Group. A targ is a Klingon pig and this whole thing is an extra-terrestrial porker straight out of Sci-Fi.

  • dotybj

    MAGIC – Making Assets out of Garbage and Illiquid Crap

    BURP – Buying Up at Random Prices

    MOAB – Mother Of All Bailouts

  • mclarke15

    Positive, huh? Then I think I have to stick with:

    Shiny Happy People’s Bank

    Plus, think how much fun it will be to see the folks on CNBC try to pronounce the acronym.

  • lk312

    The Capital Restructuring of Asset Prices fund (CRAP).

  • bryanfromhouston

    dotbj,
    -
    MOAB would be good, but the $350 billion number is too small.

  • dadfox

    Subprime Mortgage Assets Relief Transactions

  • http://kepkanation.com Jenn

    So Here’s All ouR Problems (SHARP)

  • Aaron

    Seeing as these loans have to be paid back, instead of sending funds to the Corporation for Asset Scoring Honorably, financial institutions should just write the checks out to CASH.

  • mego2

    Federal Asset Relief Tab – FART – because it stinks!

  • Barbara Kiviat

    Everyone is going for clever, but I think we should call it something like Blammy Jammy. Completely nonsensical with a lighthearted feel. That way whenever we say the name, we can’t help but have a particular sort of neuron fire in our brains. We’ll feel better about the whole thing, and not even know why.

  • banzai7

    DEEP TARP

  • ebkl

    LOSER – Lenders Only Seeking Easy Relief

  • bryanfromhouston

    The new TARP should now just be TARP on its head. It is really just like Old Coke versus New Coke.
    -
    Program for Relief from Asset Troubles (PRAT).
    -
    The genius is the simplicity. I would like my swag now. :-)
    -
    In the alternative, you have my permission to use Old TARP and New TARP with proper attribution. ;-)

  • sprizouse

    Here are some of my best attempts at it:

    Bank Loans And Cash Kitty Helping Offset Low Equity

    PROJECT: Federal Undercapitalized Bank Asset Relief (PROJECT FUBAR)

    Emergency Provisions In Case Falling Assets Incur Losses

  • ebkl

    How about some constructive ambiguity with “NO LOSERS”? Not Obama’s … Lenders Only Seeking Easy Relief Serially.

  • lifeonanotherplanet

    Asset Laundering And Reinvestment Measures

  • pigsgetfathogsgetslaughterd

    Great Outrage At The Financial Undertakings Commitedby Kashari.

    Paulson and Kashari need to resign or be forced out ASAP.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UP73cK3GXdo

  • gillimus

    Financial Unrest from Kansas to Tokyo

  • tombehr

    Congressional Relief Avoidance Program

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