The car czar is a horrible idea. A vehicle viceroy would be much better

Why exactly is that, every time we put a government official in charge of some big, less-than-well-defined task, he or she becomes a czar? (Car czar, drug czar, energy czar, cybersecurity czar, there must be more.) I get why Führer and duce aren’t gonna work. But there are lots of other options: emperor, king, queen, prince, archduke, chancellor, sultan, viceroy, maharajah, to name just a few. Yet for some reason we keep falling back on the Slavic derivation of Caesar, and we always spell it czar, not tsar.

Now this isn’t quite as lame as the practice of naming every Washington scandal by putting -gate at the end of it. But it is odd, and strikes me as vaguely un-American. We can do better.

Update: My office-neighbor Jim Poniewozik suggests “auto-crat.”

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  • rrsafety

    Auto-tarian

  • bryanfromhouston

    The judicial representative formerly known as a Bankruptcy Judge! :-)

  • usgarance

    Autocrat, I guess is best.
    What about avenger?

  • banzai7

    O BAILOUT CZAR OF MICHIGAN
    (O Little Star of Bethlehem)
    WilliamBanzai7

    O BAILOUT CZAR of MICHIGAN
    Shining through economic headlights dimmed
    Giving the light for brainless management
    Guiding the BIG 3 on their way
    Unto the TAXPAYER GOOSE THAT LAYS GOLDEN EGGS
    O BAILOUT CZAR
    Ride on!

    O BAILOUT CZAR the hope of Detroit’s life
    Guiding the motor city morons through their plight
    Over the mountains of high yield debts and union overhead
    Into the land of ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY CARS
    It will be a a lovely day
    O BAILOUT CZAR of MICHIGAN
    Ride on!

    O BAILOUT CZAR of MICHIGAN
    Shine upon us until the glory days return
    Give us subsidies and BRIDGE LOANS to pave the way
    Until we make em run on HYDROGEN
    O BAILOUT CZAR of MICHIGAN
    Ride on!

    O BAILOUT CZAR its a total disgrace
    The card carrying rank and file
    Yonder in the union halls
    They think its MILLER TIME
    BIGGER is BETTER just like the SUV design
    O BAILOUT CZAR of MICHIGAN
    Ride on!

    O BAILOUT CZAR of MICHIGAN
    Shine upon them until FINANCIAL VIABILITY returns
    Give BAILOUT cash to pave the way
    Until MOTOR CITY HAPPY DAYS return
    O BAILOUT CZAR of MICHIGAN
    Ride on!

  • http://www.simonvinkenoog.nl/beeld/Yogi%20-%20Annelies%20Rigter.jpg yogi

    “Now this isn’t quite as lame as the practice of naming every Washington scandal by putting -gate at the end of it.”
    -
    I was just complaining about that over in the Swamp, but unfortunately its spread beyond Washington scandals such as the useless “Spygate”…

  • Justin Fox

    Yeah, “Blagogate.” What an outrage. I of course prefer Blagodämmerung.

  • donthelibertariandemocrat

    At least they could use Tsar, which is how I learned to pronounce it when studying Russian. I was actually shocked to find out recently on Reason that we still have a Drug ( Fill in your favorite here ). I don’t even know who I’m being ruled by. How clueless am I?

  • Barbara Kiviat

    It does underscore the complete unoriginality of human existence, doesn’t it?

  • odograph

    A headline czar could set it right.

  • vbierschwale

    I wrote two articles this morning titled “Wake up and smell the roses” and “Treason” that directly address the issue of why bailouts will not work and why the job losses are going to get worse.

    Please read those articles and help put America back to work so that our retailers, manufacturers and raw material producers will be able to stay in business and put American’s back to work in America.

    Virgil
    http://www.KeepAmericaAtWork.com

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