1. Barack Obama. Obviously.
2. Sasha and Malia. They get a puppy. They also get (up to) eight years of unceasing scrutiny. But still: a puppy!
3. Nate Silver. His FiveThirtyEight gave a much better sense of how this election would play out than any other media outlet. Of course, now he’ll go and get the next election totally wrong. For the moment, though, he’s the boss.
4. The coasts. They’re not feeling so lonely right now.
5. John McCain. He wasn’t going to win anyway. And he gave a great concession speech.
6. Vulcan Materials and everybody else in the infrastructure business.
7. John Doerr and everybody else in the alternative energy business.
8. Research in Motion. Meet the first BlackBerry president.