Marci Alboher has a smart piece on the New York Times’ online edition about the art of self-promotion. The writer she refers to in the lede is actually me; before we met, I had cheerfully and, in retrospect, rather insensitively complimented her on her horn-tooting skills. It appears she didn’t take it so well, at least at first.
Alboher is the author of a book I reviewed here called One Person/Multiple Careers; she sends out occasional e-mail newsletters to her apparently huge circle of friends and acquaintances listing upcoming author appearances, recent press mentions and speaking gigs. The newsletters are written in an exuberant voice that I learned is genuinely hers when I interviewed her for my blog post. I found that voice charming, but not everyone did; she writes in her article that some recipients asked to be removed from her list.
I have a lot of author friends who wring their hands about achieving just the right tone in these kinds of e-mails, and often their default resolution is just to skip them altogether. That’s why I was impressed by Alboher’s unabashed “bragalogue” (as a source in her article calls it). Another reason I was impressed is that she’s a gal. And too many women suck at telling bosses and colleagues how damn great they are.
It’s not totally our fault. We’re trained from birth not to trumpet our achievements; it’s unladylike, they say. But lacking the skill of self-promotion is a giant handicap, especially in the age of brand Me. In order to survive–much less get ahead–in business, each of us has to learn to advertise our greatness.
I too struggle with how to achieve this without coming across as a total ass. I typically hate self promoters. Life’s too short to listen to you blabbering about how you landed that cover story; it makes me want to watch you die. But some people do it so well that I don’t care or even realize they’re boasting. I had a favorite editor once who was so charismatic and clever that fans like me agreed with her own high ratings.
In my view, there are four ways for women to self-promote effectively without alienating the world:
1. When in doubt, go with the funny. It’s hard not to like a jokester, even when she’s bragging. Talk about how you discovered after your interview with Johnny Depp that you had a schmear of lipstick on your front teeth. A spoonful of self-deprecating humor makes the medicine go down much more pleasantly.
2. Drink your own Kool-Aid–to a degree. There’s nothing more insufferable than a braggart who believes her own hype (see point 1). But if you’ve got to boast, at least keep to the stuff you genuinely believe is worth boasting about.
3. Stay on point. If you want the boss to know you were the engine who pulled that big project into the station, tell her about your key contribution. Don’t meander into complaints about how no one else pulled their weight or about what a huge headache the client was.
4. Take a break, hot shot. No one needs to self-promote relentlessly. You’re not that awesome.